Senin, 29 Januari 2018

Laki Laki Sejati

Confession.

Seumur hidup, Ada 3 laki2 istimewa yang layak disebut pacar.

Yg terakhir yg menjadi suamiku.

Tapi di setiap masa yg berbeda bersama masing2 dari mereka, 3 orang laki2 itu membuat aku merasa wanita paling istimewa, paling dicinta, paling beruntung di dunia. 

Sesuatu yang mungkin Allah sengaja berikan untuk menutupi ketiadaan sosok lelaki sejati yang seharusnya membimbingku dimasa-masa remaja-ku. 

Mereka telah menjadi sosok laki-laki sejati itu. 
Yang bertanggung jawab dan penuh cinta.

Kalau boleh mengingat, masing-masing menyempurnakan masa remajaku dengan begitu penuh warna, bahagia, senang, kalut, lengkap dengan sedihnya.

Malam ini, aku ingat mereka dan semua pengorbanan yang pernah mereka lakukan untuk mendapatkan-ku, untuk membahagiakan ku, untuk membuktikan besarnya cinta mereka untuk-ku, dan aku cuma ingin menyampaikan terima kasih.

Terima kasih pernah hadir memberi perasaan ini. Terima kasih karena pernah menjadi laki2 sejati di masa2 remaja-ku. 

Percayalah, Masing-masing pernah begitu berarti, aku pernah begitu berarti, semua rasa itu nyata, dan semua yang akhirnya berakhir, adalah bukti nyata kekuasaaan Allah SWT, Yang mengatur sedemikian rupa, bahwa sebesar apapun cinta kita atas satu sama lain, kalau bukan jodoh. Akan selalu ada jalan yang memisahkan.

Tapi kenangan itu selamanya ada dihatiku, yang akan membuat hati ini bergetar lirih setiap mengingatnya. Bukan karena berharap lebih, tapi karena kini sudah bisa menyadari;

Perasaan itu dulu begitu besar, tapi kita yang masih terlalu kecil.

Tak ada yang perlu disesali.
Semoga apapun salahku pada saat itu kpd kalian, bisa dimaafkan... siapapun saat ini yang bersama kalian, adalah perempuan yang beruntung. Itulah jodoh terbaik untuk kalian dimata Allah SWT.

Sebagaimana aku, adalah perempuan paling beruntung yang memilih dan dipilih suamiku. Yang telah memberikan kepada-ku dua malaikat kecil untuk menambah kebahagiaan kami. Semoga kami berjodoh sampai akhir hayat.

Allah Maha Mengerti, cinta seperti apa yang paling sesuai untuk-ku, untuk-mu. 

Malam ini, aku diajarkan memahami semua ini. 


Fat | 30 Januari 2018 | 00.50 WIB

Senin, 02 Desember 2013

Beautiful Silence

How peaceful...

This silence...

Nothing but the sound of the clock that tics.

I enjoy it so much i don't know what to do than starring at this blank page.

Hi...

How time flies.

I remember you,

and smile.

I remember those nights of silly writings and reading.

Wishing you well, as much as i am doing now.


Devious Got Me

I feel like talking,
I feel like screaming, 
I feel like yelling!

You should know that there's a lot big differences between you and me
And you can't change me or break me.

I am my own self,
I know exactly what really matters to me, 
Idon't need to prove myself to u or to anyone else just to fake my personality.
And i really think u should see where u belong, 
Rather than teaching me where should i be.

But, Oh you are such a devious and now u got me screwed!

I wish i can just say to you;


I

Hate

You

-24 November 2013-

Senin, 18 November 2013

Blooming Love

Oh, it's bloomed...

You knew it blooms...
It's the smell, the dew, and all the blossoms feeling...

Surreal at the same time...
As irrational as this memories that keep coming back...

You are the blooming love,
The pink rose ever last...

The first love so deep i can't almost believe.
The lovely smile i know was mine.

That feeling so true and passionate, 
The honest confession...

So alive,
Still alive.

Kamis, 31 Oktober 2013

Live to impress?

What u see, what u hear, may not always real...

The only real thing is people need others to believe, that their life is better...

We can never tell, sometimes even the person believe it's real.

Fantasy almost make believe. 

The question is, what for?




Senin, 21 Oktober 2013

Belajar Menghargai Pasangan

Rezeki suami istri itu Allah yg ngatur, siapapun yg lebih banyak menghasilkan, harusnya jangan dijadiin masalah, krn itu rezeki bersama.

Kalau istri kerja, bisa bantu cari uang ya disyukuri, Alhamdulillah. Don't feel intimidated, atau dikit2 dicurigain selingkuh.

Tp kalau istri engga kerja, hrs disyukuri jg, bukan berarti ga mendoakan, jangan dikira, baik-buruk rezeki suami itu jg dr doa istri loh... 

Makanya, suami suami, biar berkah usahanya, jangan lupa minta doa istri, supaya dilancarin usahanya. 

Istrinya jg kalo suami kerja, jangan bawel, pasang muka manis biar jd semangat buat suami. Kasian kan klo lg kerja digangguin, jd ga konsen, mending didoain spy cepet beres urusannya jd bs kumpul dirumah sama keluarga. 😊😊

#belajar 😁

Rabu, 17 April 2013

Pregnancy

It is probably the most terrifying word for me right now.

It is.

Oh, I have a lot of reason why;


  1. Can't bear pregnancy blues, from the morning sickness, to the back pain, to the hormones and dark spot around your neck, it just ugly. *Le sigh
  2. Won't feel the awkward feeling of contraction until the delivery time with all the doctor & the nurses starring at my bottom. It's like i want to kick them but i need them to get the baby out, and get it over with!!! 
  3. The short-age distance between my first and second children is definitely handful. Both are in high demand of attention from their mother.
  4. Which, of course, affected my work, my social life, my "me time" until maybe they're 5 years above. (
  5. Nanny's are b*tch, Nanny's are b*tch, Nanny's are b*tch. (There i said it)
  6. I had my mom busy enough because of helping me out about this children, I think she'll literally leave me if i give her another grandchild. (haha...)
  7. This never ending guilty feeling of leaving kids for work, and leaving works for kids are like BESTFRIEND, it never leave my side! -_____-"
  8. I can't wait to go on holiday with them without the exhaustion of making milk, tantrums, stroller, but really enjoying "our" holiday and both parents and kids are having fun. Not the part where kids are having "fun" while mom & dad are busy chasing over them. Note: IT IS NOT SELFISHNESS. It is equality. (Rrrrrrr…)
  9. I want to sleep in my bed with my husband and the kids in their own room. (Yeppp, they still sleep with us)
  10. I come to conclusion, that I am not a good enough mother for these two beautiful children i have right now, been selfish sometimes, not taking good care enough of them. Imagine how much bad it is, if i had to had another one??!!! Fiuuuuuuhhhhh…


Sincerely,
Desperate Mommy 
*special-edition*