Pregnancy

It is probably the most terrifying word for me right now.

It is.

Oh, I have a lot of reason why;

1. Can't bear pregnancy blues, from the morning sickness, to the back pain, to the hormones and dark spot around your neck, it just ugly. *Le sigh
2. Won't feel the awkward feeling of contraction until the delivery time with all the doctor & the nurses starring at my bottom. It's like i want to kick them but i need them to get the baby out, and get it over with!!! 
3. The short-age distance between my first and second children is definitely handful. Both are in high demand of attention from their mother.
4. Which, of course, affected my work, my social life, my "me time" until maybe they're 5 years above. (
5. Nanny's are b*tch, Nanny's are b*tch, Nanny's are b*tch. (There i said it)
6. I had my mom busy enough because of helping me out about this children, I think she'll literally leave me if i give her another grandchild. (haha...)
7. This never ending guilty feeling of leaving kids for work, and leaving works for kids are like BESTFRIEND, it never leave my side! -_____-"
8. I can't wait to go on holiday with them without the exhaustion of making milk, tantrums, stroller, but really enjoying "our" holiday and both parents and kids are having fun. Not the part where kids are having "fun" while mom & dad are busy chasing over them. Note: IT IS NOT SELFISHNESS. It is equality. (Rrrrrrr…)
9. I want to sleep in my bed with my husband and the kids in their own room. (Yeppp, they still sleep with us)
10. I come to conclusion, that I am not a good enough mother for these two beautiful children i have right now, been selfish sometimes, not taking good care enough of them. Imagine how much bad it is, if i had to had another one??!!! Fiuuuuuuhhhhh…

Sincerely,

Desperate Mommy 

*special-edition*